Listen, there are rarely places where I feel like I belong. I mean, generally, I’ve not been surrounded by people who have my skintone, family makeup, experiences… you name it. But being in the Middle Place, there are even less opportunities to be with people “like me”.

I know what you’re thinking. The world is not a monolith and all people experience life in their skin differently.

One thing about being multiracial that I find hardest to carry is this notion that I’m alone in my history and experience.

When we talk about Irish history, South African history, Mexican history, Black American history, there are at least small threads that tie people together, threads that unite someone to their community of origin. Being multiracial, that community of origin and commonality is missing.

I remember the first time I met someone who was also biracial that wasn’t my brother or sister. I. was. stunned. Not because I had found the mythical unicorn of racial reflection, I was stunned because we were nothing alike. Her mother was Black, her father white, mine was the opposite. Her family was wealthy, mine was the opposite. She had a cool confidence in her Blackness that continued to evade me until my 30’s. She was so very different from me and all I wanted for her to be was someone I could relate to… but I couldn’t.

People take for granted what it feels like to walk into a room and not be the “only one”. This is not to undermine or ignore the experiences of many Black Americans, BIPOC folk, or the various white people who enter predominately BIPOC spaces. This is simply to point out that no matter where I go as a biracial person, I can almost bet that I will be the only one there.

Belonging is something we all long for. We, as human creatures, desire to find comfort in community. To share experiences, lineage, bloodlines, generational memories. As a biracial person, I am longing to find the reflection of self in other.

Both/And is a place where I seek to build the community and belonging that I so desire. A place where others from the Middle Place can come and find reflection, similarity, shared experiences, and common differences. A place where, together, we can build a different narrative for our community and a different legacy for all those who are coming into the Middle Place alongside of us.